Category Archives: spawn

Down “Write” Funny – Here Comes the Judge!

I’m a mama bear. Definition: Shit on me all you want. I have broad shoulders and I know how to flush. However, shit on my spawn, and we got problems, buddy. This is what happened. Gazelle Girl works out at … Continue reading

Posted in #proudmama, Down Write Funny, funny, Goals, humor, Iron Uterus, judge, judgment, karma, man-sack, parenting, publishing, spawn, Squirrel!, truck balls, writing | 4 Comments

Down “Write” Funny – How Does Band Compare to Writing?

So I’m trapped at yet another one of my spawn’s high school required viewing events. This time, it’s a band concert. I’m scrunched into an auditorium chair clearly built for teenage bodies, playing with my phone like every other parent, … Continue reading

Posted in 000 hours, author, funny, Goals, humor, malcolm gladwell, marching band, outliers, parenting, publishing, spawn, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

NaNoWriMo Land – Repost

I posted this last year – thought it might be worth a revisit to kick yourself (and me) in the pants. Enjoy! NaNoWriMo. No, I’m not saying “Hello!” from the planet Ork. NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month. … Continue reading

Posted in author, cheaterpants, Down Write Funny, funny, Goals, humor, Little Goals, motivation, NaNoWriMo, newbie, spawn, Suck, writing, yippity skippity | 2 Comments

Down “Write” Funny – RETREAT!

Ever have one of those months? Your spawn. Your spouse. The necessary evil of your day job. The whole lot pulling at you like you were Stretch Armstrong on a bender. Because the holidays will do that and then they … Continue reading

Posted in author, Brainstormers, Down Write Funny, funny, Goals, hilton, humor, Little Goals, motivation, needful things, patookies, publishing, spawn, stretch armstrong, Suck, writing | Leave a comment

2013 is THE Year!

Happy New Year!!! Let’s hope you all managed to survive it. If not, hair of the dog, yanno. Cheers! Me? I spent NYE crippled and useless from tramping through one too many Disney parks. I have sent hubby and spawn on … Continue reading

Posted in 2013 is THE year, Brainstormers, funny, Goals, happy new year, humor, motivation, publishing, spawn, Uncategorized, writing | 8 Comments

Down “Write” Funny – The PT Perk

So my Gazelle Girl damaged one of her hooves. You may have heard about it on my Twitter feed during one of my many #proudmama braggart postings about my track/cross country scholarship-bound spawn. (I swear one of my little ingrates … Continue reading

Posted in #proudmama, Brainstormers, Down Write Funny, funny, gestation, humor, illness, labor, marching band, Muscle Memory, NaNoWriMo, parenting, spawn, Squirrel!, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Iron Uterus – Introduction

*Author’s note: The Iron Uterus is a defunct blog I briefly began and then abandoned in its infancy. I’d like to restart it here to address the ‘mother’ part of my blog. Reader beware – these posts involve the rearing … Continue reading

Posted in alter ego, blue balls, conversion van, country, econoline, farm, Ford, funny, gestation, humor, Iron Uterus, labor, man-sack, minivan, nascar, parenting, spawn, truck, truck balls, wisconsin | 2 Comments

Down “Write” Funny – Elvis Isn’t The Only Character in Vegas

We recently vacationed to Vegas with another couple. Young Elvis took the flight over with us. Our first Elvis sighting. Our friends had never been to Vegas, so I’d eagerly been preparing them to see Elvis in all his headlining incarnations, … Continue reading

Posted in ass-finger, backstory, Characterization, Characters, Down Write Funny, Elvis, funny, Halloween, humor, spawn, writing | 6 Comments

Down “Write” Funny – NaNoWriMo Land Part 2

So!  Yesterday, at the stroke of midnight, did you scribble the thoughts ricocheting off your gray matter and rampageously vomit up a few thousand words because the fire to write your story burned feral through your fingertips?? Did you make … Continue reading

Posted in Brainstormers, Down Write Funny, funny, Goals, humor, Little Goals, Mitt Romney, NaNoWriMo, Sarah Palin, spawn, Squirrel!, Vote, whoopie, writing | 10 Comments

A Down “Write” Funny “Iron Uterus” Halloween Story

Meet my alter-ego – The Iron Uterus. Enjoy this post from the past as my Halloween Treat to you! In third grade, while all the other kids wore their store-bought, lead-based painted mask and tissue-thin plastic tunics with superhero abs … Continue reading

Posted in #proudmama, Down Write Funny, funny, Halloween, humor, Iron Uterus, jilted bride, parenting, spawn, Trick or Treat, writing | 9 Comments